Where am I now? Lesson 1

I’ve been MIA big time…..talk about changes….I feel I’m still in the midst of my journey so can’t conclude my story with a happy ending – but rather lessons learns and roads I’ve taken within the past few months.

I like to make sense of things and prove that things happen for a reason. So I’ll explain as I see it in my perspective so far.

Number 1 lesson – listen to your body. I’m old school – hard core – no pain no gain - push even when it hurts. No time for stretching no time for resting, go go go. It literally took my body completely breaking down for me to finally stop and rest.

Side story…..shoulder/hip pain since the beginning of this year. Went to PT, saw dr, backed off, got cortisone, continued to work out. Pain started to get worse - got MRI, saw more drs, medication, holistic treatment, blessing/cleansing, referral to specialist….

Due to the pain I stopped teaching classes, I went to gym less and less, started more yoga, then yoga less and less until my body was so inflamed it pained to walk and I was unable to lift my arm to parallel. I would lie in bed for at least 15 minutes scared to get out of bed because I knew it would hurt once I moved. I was depressed, I was lost, I felt defeated. I researched/dabbled in plant based diet to heal myself. I looked into energy work. I read myofascial release books, nutrition books, chakras, etc. I got to a point where I threw in everything – I was/am determined to heal.

This is the part of my story that I am at now.…

Medically - tears to both the front/back of my shoulder, PT for my shoulder/hip will start soon, was on strong anti inflammatories for 2 weeks before I could finally raise my arm overhead. (still feel pain but at least I can move my arm), referral to a rheumatologist as doctor believes I have an autoimmune condition that caused my body to attack itself.

Spiritually – to some I may sound loopy – to each his own and we all believe what we believe. But these are my beliefs – take them or leave them. The pain was all in my left side – started shoulder, then hip, then I had low back spasm and bacterial skin infection all on my left side. Son broke left arm. Other son fractured both his left and right fingers. I got a Kumu to come and bless me and my family. She stated this was a spiritual attack and because I got to a point that I was blocking myself it deflected to my family and my car. Do I believe someone purposely put some voodoo on me and meant to cause harm to my children? No, absolutely not….well I hope no one is that evil. But I do believe drama, jealousy, and negative energies all can be sent out, absorbed, etc. I believe that I was exposed to a lot of toxic people and toxic environments.

Emotionally – In the holistic body work realm – it’s believed that pain is trapped emotions. Taking the same above mentioned “attack”, I was going through tough times. Feelings of betrayal, being taken advantage of, back stabbed, etc by “friends” took me by complete surprise. Being so open, loving, and trusting and to have that abused, pained me to the core – literally. So in holistic body work advice - I need to release the pain. I’m still stuck here– but I want to work on finding how to release as this pain that is reflecting in my body, is no fun at all.

So to reiterate my lesson 1 – it took my going through pain at this extreme level to teach me that I need to listen to my body and my soul. I needed to rest, recover, remove people from my life, take things into perspective and refocus. I’m currently on many roads to find healing and I believe I am getting there. At first I was extremely depressed, but now looking back I wouldn’t be on this current road unless my life unfolded as it did. Although I don’t know where this journey is taking me, I do believe that this is exactly where I need to be and look forward to what’s to come.

My training, diet, and teaching philosophies are being up leveled as I believe I’m going through all of this to bring a better me and support others to bring out their best self.

Stay tuned for Lesson 2- Workout Theory and Lesson 3 – Nutrition theory