Love Yourself....
Why do we bash ourselves and criticize parts of our body for not being “perfect”? Why do we set expectations for ourselves that aren’t reasonable and then feel like a failure when we don’t meet them? Why do we talk so negatively to ourselves but would never even consider saying those things to our friends/family? How can we love others that have similar flaws but can’t love our own? When did we lose our self-love and begin to accept that it was ok to talk down to ourselves? Regardless of the why’s, when’s and how’s -- it’s time to change this mind set.
Let’s commit this 2017 year to Self-Love, Self-Acceptance, Self-Confidence, Self-Esteem, Self-Care, Self-Respect….whatever you feel comfortable calling unconditionally loving of yourself.
Loving yourself doesn’t mean you’re just going to accept yourself where you are and not try to better yourself by striving toward goals; it doesn’t mean that you are conceited, arrogant, egotistical, perfect, etc.
Rather loving yourself is accepting yourself , knowing your value and worth and living accordingly. Honoring your body, mind and spirit.
Easier said than done you say….I agree if you are always criticizing yourself for whatever reasons it seems next to impossible to change your mindset. I’ll give you a few ideas to try out…..
When you start having negative thoughts, stop. “I’m so fat, look at all my…..” Just stop right there. You are the one in charge of your thoughts, as easily as you can start those sentences in your head you can stop them dead in it’s tracks.
Focus on the positives. Whether it be the feature, or trait, or the great things in your life….instead always looking at what is wrong in your life, on your body, etc switch your focus…..focus on the positives.
Stop expecting perfectionism. Believe it or no, no one is perfect. :) Why do we set such strict standards/expectations for ourselves? Do your best and embrace your bad days, trust me we all have them.
Name a few qualities/features you admire about yourself. “There are none” Really? You don’t have a nice smile, eyes, hair, wrist bone for Pete’s sake? You don’t have a good sense of humor, are trusting, humble, loving? I know you have some good qualities/features…..
Reward yourself. You reached a goal? You completed a work deadline on time? You kept your cool when everything was irritating you? Pat yourself on the back, treat yourself, take a minute or two and give yourself the praise you deserve, spa day, massage, flowers a short note…..
Seek help. Sometimes you are beyond these ideas…maybe you are depressed, maybe you really hate yourself. If so, seek help. Whether it be from family, friends, or professionals; get help!! There is no shame in taking the steps to try to help yourself.
Stress relief. Pray or meditate. Do yoga or take a walk outside. Do something to bring you back to center.
Be grateful. Think of one thing you are grateful for. A roof over your head, a job that helps pay the bills, a healthy body, a good friend….
Help others. Nothing makes you feels better than helping someone else. Open a door for a stranger and smile, help someone to move, pitch in a little extra at work….give without expecting anything in return.
Stop abusing your body. Stop withholding food, over exercising, doing exercises that you hate…find your way to fitness and a healthier lifestyle that you enjoy and that is doable for you.
Stop making excuses and do what you want - Trust yourself. Most women/mother’s are so used to taking care of everyone else and making sure everyone else’s needs are met that we forget about ourselves….take care of you!
Still not convinced? Here a few exercises to help. It may seem loopy/crazy/stupid - but just try it.
Mirror work and/or positive affirmations- look at your reflection in the mirror and tell yourself something positive. “You are beautiful” “I accept you” “You are great” “You hair looks nice today” Anything - even if you don’t believe it right now….you will start to if you continue to tell yourself these things. Positive affirmations: “I am learning to love my body in it’s entirety”, “Losing weight comes easily for me”, etc.
What do you wish you could hear most from someone? Do you search for love or approval from someone? Forgiveness? Whatever it is, tell yourself these words instead of trying to hear them from someone else.
Again, we all search for love from others - but the only love you can control is the love you give yourself. Why not start there -- work on loving you.